The Soda Stand

I’m feeling the burn out from working every Saturday!  I knew I would, but I’m trudging through and trying to get a feel for the schedule.  It’s a pain in the ass working six days of the week!  Oh well.  Gotta do what I gotta do, right?

My grade has improved greatly in the one class I was struggling in.  Just trying to stay on top of all the schoolwork with the two jobs is a little overwhelming.  But I’m managing it and I’m going to get through it just fine.

Someone asked me if I was afraid to make such a big move when I finally find a place to go near my family.  I thought for about 2 seconds and responded “No, I’m not scared.  I moved 2000 miles away from Las Vegas to get where I’m at.  I’m pretty sure I can handle the 500 or so miles to my family.” 

While I’m incredibly ready for this transition to happen like yesterday, there are some people at the job I will miss greatly.  I will absolutely cry when I have to say “see ya” to them.  Some of the people here have been so good to me and such great people at heart.

I’ve been actively searching in the Atlanta area and I am crossing my fingers I get something lined up pretty fast.  I haven’t told the supervisor or Manager Lady yet, but I’m holding off doing that as long as possible.  Because really?  Supervisor Sybill treats me really badly anyway and I just know in my heart that if she knew I was planning on leaving, she would treat me worse.  Like ten times worse!

For about 30 minutes of my decision making process, I thought about going back to Vegas.   But in the big scheme of things, Las Vegas is incredibly unhealthy for me, spiritually and recovery wise.  While I need to really work on the recovery in my life, I know that Vegas is not the place to do it.   Wherever I go, there I will be and I’m aware of that and I’m okay with it.  No matter where I go, I’m still going to have to deal with my shit.

Someone asked me to list exactly what I do not like about this area and so I’m going to fulfill this request on this blog:

• The GA group.  I’ve never really felt a “part of” in this place.  While I think several of the members here have some kick ass recovery, I also think many of them are just abstinent.  Kinda like me right now.  lol
• Not being able to see my mother every weekend.  My mom and I are very close and being this far away from her is making me pretty miserable.
• The job.  While I enjoy quite a bit of the work I do, I really dislike the job greatly.  I think the people (supervisor) help this dislike grow a little bit each day.
• No social circle to speak of.  Yes, I could have applied myself more in this area.  However, the ones (social circles) I did try to get into were not my cup of tea and I did not enjoy the company of the people.  This includes the people from church.
• The fact I’m unhealthier physically than I’ve ever been in my entire life.  Since the first few months I moved here, I’ve had more sinus infections and allergy problems than I had in a decade before moving here.   I would have one or two sinus infections a year and here?  I have anywhere from 5 to 6 AND I developed asthma since moving here.
• Being so far away from my mom.  Oh wait.  I mentioned that, didn’t I?

Those are the basic, main reasons I do not like it here.   There are a lot of things I DO like about this area, I’m not going to try to say there is nothing promising about this city.  However, for me, this is not where I want or need to be anymore.

I’ve learned so much in the last 2.5 years, I really can’t complain too much.  I’ve been braver and more courageous than I ever was and I’ve made it.  I made it for this length of time on my own without going completely crazy or emotionally bankrupt! 

Until next time…

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