Today would have been Todd Dengler’s 42nd birthday. He was taken from us far too soon on June 27, 2005.

Everyday, something reminds me of Todd. Everyday, I think of him and I talk to him. Some days are easier than others. Some days I feel the pain like it just happened and I feel almost crippled with it.

Grief journeys are so unpredictable and personal. I take it a day at a time and on a bad day, one minute at a time.

I woke up today, excited and ready for my new job. I believe the fact I am starting on Todd’s birthday to be a sign of some sort. Some may disagree with me, and that’s OK. I don’t mind if anyone disagrees with me. I believe in my heart Todd has guided me and helped me through the last several months. I have felt his presence more times in the last few months than I had previously.

Todd, I miss you and I love you still. You were my platonic soul mate and my world shattered when you had to leave. I know you are still with me and I feel you. Sometimes, if I am quiet enough, I can hear you talking to me and comforting me. Happy Birthday my friend. I love you.

From left to right on far side of table:  KP, L, Todd, EW

Fromt left to right closest side:  me and RC.

This picture was taken August 2004 in San Clemente, CA.  This same day?  I went and got the back tattoo and had to ride home the next day with a pillow at my back and Todd got to hear me piss and moan about how much it burned and itched and hurt.  LOL  Good times!